I Lost (almost) All My Friends When I Became Sober.

 

Hey, friends!  First of all, I want to thank you guys for reading and supporting this blog.  It’s been awesome getting to chat with some of you, and its even greater to read your supportive comments! 🙂

So, I just realized something today while I was scrolling through my various social media accounts.  I never talk to the people that I used to drink witfriend 2h. Never. All of them are still bar-hopping, and posting videos/pictures of their night out of heavy drinking. And that’s exactly it- they were my drinking buddies– and that’s it.  On my sobriety date, I severely sprained my ankle and I had to wear a walking boot for 7 weeks.  I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t do many of my normal day to day activities.  Out of the 25 people that I thought were my friends, 3 of them were concerned about my well-being and even drove me to doctors appointments (bless their hearts!).  When I started telling the rest of my “friends” that I am living a sober lifestyle, they magically disappeared. Shocking, ground-breaking information… right?!

When I was drinking, I wanted (needed) almost everyone’s approval.  Even people who would put me in risky situations.  When I would get an in argument with somebody, I would be the first to apologize because I absolutely could not stand when somebody was mad at me. I would apologize even if I didn’t do anything wrong. At the time, I thought: “well hot damn, these people have seen me blackout drunk and still want to hangout with me! They’ll go to the bar with me when I’ve had a bad day and even buy me drinks! Those are what real friends are.” You wanna know why I did all that stuff? Because I felt so incredibly low about myself.

Because in the heat of my drinking, I didn’t even know who I was. I was so sick. My heart breaks for that girl. I distinctly remember looking at myself in the mirror after a night of heavy drinking. It’s hard to even write about this because it still haunts me from time to time. I had bloodshot eyes, bloated face, hair in disarray, smeared eye makeup, bruises on my body from falling/running into things at the bar— as I reached to gulp down a glass of water, I noticed my hand start to shake.  I looked at the bottle of vodka that was next to the sink, took of shot of it, abefore and afternd felt the warmth going down my throat… and I instantly felt better.  I said to myself word for word in the mirror: “who the hell are you? what have you become?!” I sank to the floor and cried. I wanted to punch the mirror so I didn’t have to look at the girl who was destroying her life.  In that exact moment I wanted to stop the insanity.  But later that night, I was back at it again— and with the people who were enabling my alcoholism. The picture on the left is me in July of 2015, and the picture on the right is me in March of 2017. Fake happiness on the left, real happiness on the right.

 

Now that I’m sober (by the grace of God!), I am constantly evaluating my friendships. I am so lucky to have 3 best friends that completely understand/support my sobriety, and only want the best for me.  I am also incredibly lucky to have such a supportive sponsor and my new friends that I have made in AA.  I am finally free to be friend 3unapologetically myself.  I no longer feel the need to change who I am for somebody else’s approval.  And that is one of the amazing blessings that sobriety has given me.  My dad said to me today “you look so much different than you did on February 11th.” And that is 100% correct! Physically, I’ve lost 30 lbs. Emotionally, I am a happy, confident 23 year old girl. Even though I am still early in sobriety, I can see how much my life has changed for the better in so many ways. In the first couple days of sobriety, I was so sad that I would probably loose many of my “friends.” Now that I’m sober and have a clear head, I’m happy that I did a bit of “Spring Cleaning”, so to speak.  It’s a great day to be sober. 🙂

 

“Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough.” 

9 thoughts on “I Lost (almost) All My Friends When I Became Sober.

  1. I left all of my friends when I quit (24 years ago now). Even my best friend since I was seven, and he still wanted to be my friend and was supportive of my desire to sober up. I put all of them in the rear view and surrounded myself with sober program people. If there’s one thing that I can point to that I did right back then, that’s it. Surrounding myself with only sober people.

    Good luck kiddo. I was just a young buck when I quit (Nov. 18, 1992) and I’m here to tell you, there is no limit to the good you can do with your life if you live a life according to the program. I went from a single, Pizza delivery guy, thinking about suicide life to married, two kids and the owner of a commercial construction company. Simply put, loser to successful, just add sobriety, honesty and twelve steps. Good luck!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow, his is so inspiring. Thank you! I know I’m young, but I’m committed to his life ofmsobriety, I’ve seen the miracles that have already happened and how happy I am. It’s not worth going back to the bottle. No way!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I discovered in early sobriety that a huge percentage of my relationships were built on alcohol. Drinking made me feel relaxed and sociable. It made me fill like I fit in. Looking back I guess I lacked social skills. However I also realized just because my relationship were built on alcohol, didn’t meant those “friends” were bad people. They just weren’t for me. Learning to build new relationships is challenging, yet exciting to have new people in my life who like me, for me!

    Keep blogging!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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